Take Me To Naija

 We just came from my cousin hostel and were heading to ours when we met Lizzy. She be no see us o,I come dey get joy say at least may she no see me for my sorry state. "Lizzy!!" Emma yelled waving his tired hands. 'i just weak,I don soak with my own sweat, who see me go think say then pour me water. She waved back while she head towards us. Lizzy:where Una dey from come. Me:ahan ahan,so we can't go out again Ni. Caleb:ahbi oo Lizzy:no body dey say may Una no go out o,but why Una come dey shout clear way when. Una be dey enter,come dey run people wey em threaten say if em stop em go cut dia preek. 'the kind big spit wey I swallow ehh.' Abel: Hwfa come buy us smack Na?. 'sha no be him fault,I fit finish 2 big cows as I dey like this.' " may we dey go" Na waytin she talk next. Her scent is good,while I walked behind her. I just thought maybe,maybe if I ask her out it wont be bad after all. Lizzy:franklin hwfa na, why you come dey do like who ma...

Chapter 9.  Emmy:this one no goes well sef, why we no go that trophy own side? Caleb :or that Goldberg? Emmy :you get 3k ? For just one white thing wey you wan Comot from your preek. I just de dey look em as em dey call Ashawo joints,even small Emmanuel sef even know price join. Abel:we Don too tey here na, we dey enter inside? Emmy:no oo, we're broke not poor. That Emmanuel statement I no come understand, no be small thread hold brokenness and poorness ni?. Caleb :ahbi o, see as the place dirty any how. Kai shey na ground we find come ahbi na Ashawo we find come? I no come understand again. Abel: where we wan go now? Emmy : trophy joor.. Abel :no qualms, may we dey go. See as I just dey follow Em like goat wey em win kill. This time we walked straight. We stopped at one duplex like building, e be upstairs ,for front na bar. I no see any girls ahbi na drink Emmy carry us come drink ni. Na so we waka enter the bar o, I just the anticipate waytin I go see. Abel:focus o... Abel whispe...

 Chapter 8. Seems I'm unusually early to phy101 class The scantiness of the class no be here, just a hand pick of people in the lab. I check time na 8:30,him class dey start 8am till 10 am. And him no dey ever dey late. My phone vibrate,i bring m out of my front pocket.it was a whatapp message from Abel. "boy people no dey my hall",the messages stand out. "even me sef,here empty", I texted back. Two boys walked in that moment so entangle in their conversation. Boy1:OMo boy you hear shots last night?. Boy2: I was so scared I swear. Boy1: no be only u Ooo. Me an under my bunk I here Oo,i even sleep off for Dia sef. As soon as I heard that I smiled, at least no be only me sleep under bunk. boy1:waytin em say happen Self?. Boy 2: I think it was a robbery, my roommates who were at the bank when it happened was telling us. Boy1:rob bank for night? "Even me no understand. Who robs bank at night?." Boy2: I don't know, that's what they told me. I stood ...

Chapter 7. Davidson: frank hwfa? ( seriously my mind no even dey here,i was almost shot.) Victory: ahboy no tell me say na that thing wey just happen you dey reason so!. Davidson: frank lap!. ( he said gesturing with his hand over a bed that two hard looking girls were seated.) I carry my self jeje go sitdown for their middle,the room was hot despite the fast rotation of the ceiling fan. Davidson: how e dey?. (Sitting up on the bed). Me:brotherly i blank. The thing weigh me. Davidson: you do am any other thing? Me:nothing o! Me wey even save am from una wrath sef. ( i said recalling how i ran from F and G to back gate.) Davidson: him go strike again. Me: i know. Davidson: you no fit fight executioner,so how you wan do am?. (The quiet weak me,if only this people know say na impersonation i dey do). Me: i off!,i empty. My deck no dey here brotherly. ( i let out another lie,kai this time i cant stop lying) Davidson:no worry bout your former deck,sail with us. ( like this guy dey tell me m...

 Chapter 6... The led me to the back of one popular restaurant in campus. "Yummers". R2:aboh go down!. ( he yelled! Moving from one point to another) No body tell me to comply,i go jejely lie down for ground flat,yeah you guessed right. Fear got the best of me lol. R2: You dey cap me!. Me: brotherly no be so. ( omo i humble, e remain small may i force tears comot for my eyes). Me:brotherly no be so. (My voice was echoing the spacious hall)... R2: how e come be? You!,you make me bleed. Mee?!!. R2. Me:brotherly abeg,calm down may we align. R2: may you and who align? See this Jews. May you and who align?. Mehn have never felt helpless my entire life,i just wish say i be get fellowship way i dey go,or any thing way fit save me from this mess. If i die now waytin i go tell my mama?. R2:answer me,may you and who align?. He shouted pulling my dread, e pain me ooo,but i can't shout like that,i gas look strong for him eye. 'Carck' the sound came behind me. "Aro"!...

 Chapter 5. They girls introduced their selves as bella,Ellen and Lizzy,the one front of me just kept quiet and concentrated on the her food. Franklin shift,na waytin i hear when i be dey try start conversation with Bella.i look up na Emmanuel,he was holding a plate of beans and two balls of bread. I just weak. Mehn i shifted na,didnt wanted to fall his hand,as if devil was against me,Emmanuel started conversation with the girl that has concentrated on her food since. She answered( e pain me ehh). "I like ya hair" Emmanuel said stroking her long dread. She let out a smile,see teeth. Well arranged,white like cloud, She too fine. "I'm flattered"... She said giggling. Mitcheeew flatter ko,lesser ni,i said in my mind. All three of em were having conversation without me,well i don't do well when it comes to banny. "What's ya name"? Bella asked me. Caleb: his name is Franklin. Caleb said trying to defend his hunt. Lol, i just smile. Abel may we dey g...

 Chapter 4. Our matriculation was fast approaching, some of the people that were evicted returned. Though we reach an agreement second semester they will go,and they agreed. Me and pepple turn enemy, i no dey even bother go him class. The porter has been frustrating my life like madt,unlike my previous university this one you'll have to sign into your hostel. Providing them with ya passport,your school fee receipt and other credentials (100 level mostly) The man refused to signed me in,the first time i was in his office,he said i should put my papers in files,i was like no qualms na. I hurried down to complex center front hostel D... When I got to his office it was locked,mehn the outrage i felt ehh. I just retired to my hostel for the day. Ahboy,ahboy.. Which kind sleep you dey sleep like this na ote,i could hear Abel from my dream world. "Leave me oo".. I said sleepily. "You know waytin be time?"... Someone asked me. Na 6:45 pm oo,and you start sleep 2pm... I ...

 Chapter 3. After that incident everybody start dey gimme distance,how room was inspected,and those illegally staying with us were evicted. Finally we're just 4, as e suppose be. Unlike my previously hostel.this one is like face me i face u,the blocks are facing each other. Early mor mor i rush had my bath,na today mr pepple talk say him go give us our first test.mehn i just weak for the man, the first day i enter that school him collect my phone,smh. Abel don baf finish dey dress up, i checked time,it was 6:56. The place no far from our hostel. Boy! I go go oo emmanuel yelled to abel. Ahboy u no go calm down. Franklin make we dey go,Abel said tapping me. Oya na, i said standing up. Emmanuel was so restless,he kept yelling at Abel to hurry up. I just shake my head. All this 100level sha. We reach physics lab at exactly 7am on dot.the door was shut with few people inside. While outside the kind crowd wey dey dia na like people wey the wait make God read em verdict to hell,(i sure sa...

 Chapter 2.... Frank hwfa na,i cousin said as soon as i entered his room. Unlike my room his room mate are just 3,i wish mine was three walai,the room was quite smaller than mine though. "Frank you normal"? My cousin's room mate yell. Waytin sup? I said. (The shout brought me back to reality). Bia frank,you high ni? See as you just spill our macdowell,a well build broad dark boy yelled,confidence no vex,my mind no dey here,i said pitifully. Where ya mind dey? My cousin asked. Mehn e far from here, imagine em douf my wallet wey 22k dey inside? I said angry. For where e happened? One yellow boy shouted. For my room oo,this thing pain me i swear,ontop that person dey charging me,i said shaking my head. Me:Him carry knife say him go stab me, him dey cap gimme. Confidence: hope you cap give am back? Me:two secs na. My cousin stood up from the floor he was sitting,he had a wrapper tied around his waist and a white singlet. Davison my cousin) ahboy you say him charging.. Me: bro...

 Prologue:My name is Franklin. A fair low esteem niggah in almost everything.Usually i make my friends cycle small and quality(inno fit dey reason who no reason me). I changed 2 universities,no jokes. Uniport,Fuo (federal university otuoke).and currently Rsu(rivers state university of science and tech). Changing schools affected me alot,though not academical but environmentally,(friends,families (friends who turned family) the locals,the artefacts,to mention just few) i miss FUo,most especially the community,such a peace loving people. Chapter 1.... I was in the academy(NDA)for afsb (RC 70)when i got admission into RSu.A Month later rivers was release to go,mehn see freedom. At least now no more waking up 4am,using less than 5 mins to freshen up/dressed up. No more white and blue shorts,mehn i hated that shorts ehh,coming from a guy who likes to sag(low waist ). Many faculties were writing their first paper when i arrived Otuoke,i missed the full session of 200 level second semeste...

Episode 2 (oga my prick is no stand) (a story for all my niggas) As i pick my phone up to answer the call omo na him i hear shout ooo my guy my guy long time no see na i say ah ah who be this na so him remind me say na ur guy na half kilo ahhhhh like so me i shout half kilo my guy how far na,wetin dey happen na long time no see him con say me i just come back now from abuja to con see my family, where u dey now come my area here for festac na make we balling club na today na friday ahhh me i say no wahala as far na flexing tins me i dey there no shaking him cut the call oboy me i con dey reason am my guy make just leave us waka go hustle for abuja now e don show e be like say pepe don rest for himside o baba don blow!! Me sharpaly enter bathroom freshen up wear my fancy cloth spray my perfume oboy na club tins we dey now o!! I come outside i rush go stand for bustop they wait for bus finally i con see festac side bus like so me i fallen sharp sharp i dey pray make i reach...

(BABA OLOWO THE LONG PRICK) (episode 1 olo oma je!!) this story na for all my niggas out there my name na emeka okafor but my guys they call me cronaldo aka baba olowo the long prick any how sha me won yan una wetin been happen to me sometimes ago he get one girl i been dey eye too much,the girl fine and she con get big kaka no be small but the thing be say she dey kiri groundnut so that fatefull day me just sidon dey collect small breeze for outside of my yard for evening na him i sight the girl from afar she been dey sell her market,ewo me i shout no be that girl be this chaiiiiii omo na today i go toast her o, e don tey where konji been dey hold me since anytime i dey see this girl like so i package myself wella con dey reason how i go take talk to her make at least i collect her number oboy this girl too get big yansh me i must chop am whether devil like it or not me na big boy na,like so the girl come they waka they come o na him i gather moral call am how far fine ...

*INSATIABLE* ~Story of a quiet Yoruba Demon~ Chapter 1 '' When you get back from school, make sure you clean the house and read, I would be back by 5pm and heaven helps you if u don't finish what I asked you to do'' My mum ordered She was in a hurry to leave home, she has two shops, one at Agbara and the other at Round about, a very busy suburb that is not too far from home. Yesterday night, she already told me that her supplier would be coming very early in the morning and she has to be there to inspect the goods, besides, she has some complaints about the last goods the man supplied. I nodded my head in affirmation, I have to get to school very early, I am in the final class which is ss3, I feel elated when I cogitate about it, my house has been something like a *mini* prison. You might want to ask about my dad, he is a soldier and rarely comes homes. My siblings and I do look forward to his home coming because to us, he is the best dad. We pray tha...

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Chapter 3 Abidemi was the mirror image of royalty. She had spotless skin, beautifully sculpted facial features, light brown expressive eyes, thick shoulder length hair and was considered too tall for her age. At 5ft8”, she towered over most of her age mates. She carried herself in a manner that would put many beauty queens to shame, head held high, spine straight, chin raised but not too high, long confident strides. She was the envy of most girls her age. What they didn’t know was that because her mother was a former beauty queen who took a lot of pride in her looks and had lots of endorsement deals still coming her way despite the fact that she was forty, she had made sure to drill Abidemi into perfection. “Don’t leave your mouth hanging dear, there is nothing beautiful about a droopy face” her mother had once said to her. She was just ten years old. “Don’t drag the towel across your face, you pat it dry not rub, otherwise your skin would wrinkle”. She was ...

Chapter 2 “Welcome to Poseidon Intelligence, we are so glad you chose us instead of the other apps” said a voice from the speakers “we are committed to running your home, gadgets and household in general. We are currently rated number one in the artificial intelligence section of the app store. Poseidon Intelligence is built with an anti hacking program which ensures your secret stays safe with us. I would wink now if I had eyes but I guess my voice would have to do. My name is Tracy, what’s yours?”. “Jake” he replied “you sound very human-like for an AI” “Well…that’s the point” Tracy chuckled earning a smile from Jake. “See?” She cooed “ You’re already smiling, we're off to a beautiful start. “I just need you to confirm vocally that I have permission to access everything I need to serve you better” Tracy continued in her raspy voice. “Uh?” Jake paused, scratching his head. “Come on, Jake. It’s like the terms and conditions thingy. No one reads it. No one ...

About the author: I'm Ufuoma and I'm new here. Granted I've registered for ages but I've only started using this account. I love telling stories almost as much as I love being told stories. I've noticed that a lot of writers have to tag people to read their stories. Are these people the author knows or just anybody? If anyone knows, let me know please. Especially as I doubt anyone would see this without the tags. The stories I write for now are quite short. Enjoy, whoever finds my story. © Ufuoma Oluwaseun Rain pelted against the roof like a frantic intruder hoping to break into his victim's house, the accompanying wind and thunderstorm rattled the windows adding to the eeriness of the night. Nkem yawned rubbing at his eyes and casting a weary glance at the wall clock hanging in the supermarket. It was 10:40pm. He had to start heading home, Ever since the death of his wife, he worked long hours at his supermarket in or...